35 




Price 
25 Cents 



of the 



Joy i\ 

LV 




By 




Mlice Cook Fuller 



Copyright, 1914 
By March Brothers 



MARCH BROTHERS, PubUshers 

208,210, 212 V/right Ave., Lebanon, Ohio 




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Joy of the L V 



By 

Alice Cook Fuller 



March Brothers, Publishers 

208, 210, 212 Wright Ave., Lebanon, O. 






Copyright, 1914. 
By March Brothers. 



AUG -6 191^ 

3)CI.D 37764 



Cast of Characters. 

Joy Branscombe, the heroine. 

John Branscombe, Joy's brother, and owner of 

the L V Cattle Ranch. 
Jim Strong, foreman of the L V, and Joy's 

lover. 
Shorty, a cowboy, lover of Joy, rival of Strong, 

and a rustler. 
Steve, accomplice of Shorty, enemy of Strong, 

old employee of L V. 
Wing, the Chinese cook. 
Reddy, a cowboy ; an old and trusted employee 

of the L V. 
Miss Alta Woodbe, an elderly would-be co- 
quette, and admirer of Reddy. 
Tommy, another old employee of the L V. 
Hank, Thompson and Schwartz, cowboys, and 

new employees of the L V. 



JOY OF THE L V. 

A Three- Act Comedy for Twelve Characters 

BY 

ALICE COOK FULLER 



Scenery. — All ranch buildings are of logs, the 
trees anything but evergreen, and L V in brown 
"brands" on every available space about the 
ranch. Saddles, quirts, spurs, bridles, etc., in 
evidence any and everywhere. 

Act I — Scene L 

Time. — Afternoon. 

Place. — Outside the bunkhouse of the L V, 
a Montana cattle ranch. Curtain rises, discov- 
ering a lounging group of cowboys. Some are 
shaking dice, one braiding a quirt, Hank and 
Steve talking low, Shorty cleaning his "gun," 
Reddy whittling and whistling softly. 

Shorty (rises and strolls over to U. C, As he 
passes each group he makes some unpleasant 
comment). That's all wrong (to quirt maker). 
Ha, lost that time, didn't you (to dicer). Do 
shut up that everlasting tune ! (to Reddy). (Sul- 
lenly examines gun once more.) 



D JOY OF THE L V. 

(Enter Wing, U. C, peers far to right). 
Nope, no come yet. 

Reddy. Hello, Wing ! What's the matter with 
you? 

Wing. Me lookee for Missee Blanscombe. 
Me make her nice hot laspbelly pie. She lik^ 
um, lot. You see um come, Leddy ? 

Reddy. Nope, Wingski. 'Taint time yet. 

(Wing shuffles U. C, passing Shorty.) 

Shorty (kicking Wing). Keep out of the way 
of white folks, you yellow ape ! Stay in the cook 
house, where you belong. (Seats self.) 

(Exit Wing, rubbing himself tenderly.) 

Steve. Ought to be here pretty soon, though. 
Strong has the little buckskins, and they get over 
ground like coyotes. 

Tomjny. Sixty miles isn't done in a minute. 
They would start early, though, so it would be 
cooler, but (squints at sun) it's nearly four, now. 

Schzvart::;. They start early always if the 
young miss be readty. Not? 

Tommy. Miss Branscombe will be ready, and 
don't you forget it ! 

Reddy. You don't seem to be next to the fact, 
Schwartz, that the young lady is the boss's sister, 
and simply as fine as they make 'em. 

Schzvartz. Oh, ja! I know. But some- 
times young ladies they keep one waiting. They 
hurry not for the pleasure of any one. 

Reddy and Tommy. Not that young lady ! 

Tommy. Joy Branscombe has been coming 
out to the L V to spend her summers ever since 
she was twelve. She knows ranch life and 



JOY OF THE L V. 7 

"what's what" out here as well as she knows 
what's the same in a Chicago hotel drawing- 
room. And let me put you next. She isn't the 
kind that keeps people waiting. 

Schwartz. Well, one thing is sure. It will 
be a nuisance having any woman 'round telling 
what we should do and what not. Women are 
all alike. They butt in. 

Reddy and Tommy. Not Joy Branscombe ! 

Schwartz. Pah ! Imbeciles ! 

Tommy. 'Tah !" yourself, Schwartz. You 
got about as much chivalry as a Piute Indian. 

Schwartz (straightening up). Neffer, then, 
has she interfered? 

(Tommy, Reddy and Steve look at one an- 
other, then roar with laughter.) 

Steve. Never? Well, mebby once! 

Reddy. There was a time when she came 
back from college that she thought we need not 
be such savages, so she brought a trunkful of 
linen. She put up frills and do-dads here and 
there, and sash curtains up at the bunk house 
windows, and one night when we rolled in from 
the roundup, done to a frazzle, and undressed by 
pullin' off our boots and hangin' up our holsters, 
we started to turn and found — 

Tommy, Steve and Reddy. Sheets ! (laugh 
heartily). 

Schwartz. Sheets ? 

Reddy. Sheets. You bet. On our bunks ! 

Schzvartz. Then what? 

Tommy. We folded 'em up careful and put 
'em away. We were goin' to put 'em back on 



8 JOY OF THE L V. 

in the mornin' so she wouldn't suspect, and have 
her feehn's hurt. But an old gray wolf started 
a stampede among the cattle that night, and we 
hopped out without waitin' to do up our chamber 
work. 

Reddy. And while we were gone the Chink 
came in to make up the bunks, found the sheets 
and took 'em to the boss to find what he should 
do with them. She was there, and qucn-sc-contly 
we didn't get any more white bed linen. 

Schwartz (enjoyingly). Mad, of course! 

Reddy (scornfully). Mad, nothin'. She 
nearly laughed herself to death at the joke on 
herself. When a lady can appreciate a joke, 
w^hen that joke is on herself, she is a-bout all-1 
right ! From that minute Joy Branscombe was 
the one girl in the world for the old L V. 

Steve. She's bringin' her chaperon along 
again this year, Red. 

Reddy (much disturbed). What one? 

Steve. The one that took such a shine to y'ou. 
Miss Willbe? Wontbe? 

Reddy. Miss W^oodbe? Miss Alta Woodbe? 
(sadly). 

Tommy. That's it, Reddy, boy. Guessed it 
first time. (Reddy rises.) Keep your seat, 
don't get excited. We won't interfere. (Rises 
and sidles over to Reddy, imitating Miss Wood- 
be's gushing twitter.) Oh, Mr. Reddy! Do tell 
me what makes that dear little creature bleat like 
that. Is it dangerous? Ah, I feel so safe when 
I think that your strong right arm — 



JOY OF THE L V. 9 

Reddy (knocks Tommy over). Oh, get out! 
Think you're funny, don't you? 

Tommy (rising and dusting himself ). ''Strong 
right arm" all right, Red, but I didn't need such 
convincin' proof. Hello, here they come now ! 
(All except Shorty rise.) 

Reddy. All ready, boys? Now. One, two, 
three ! 

All (except Shorty). Whoo-ee-e ! (Swing 
hats. ) Whoo-ee-e ! Whoo-ee-e ! 

Joy (from a distance). Whoo-ee-e! 

(All, except Schwartz and Shorty, begin prep- 
arations for her coming. They brush off trous- 
ers and sleeves, re-tie neckkerchiefs, straighten 
out and re-dent hat crowns, comb hair with fin- 
gers. Reddy takes a bit of broken mirror from 
shirt pocket, and combs hair with a pocket 
comb. ) 

Tommy. Aw, quit it. Red ! You're too f as- 
cinatin' already. The rest of us don't stand a 
ghost of a show with the ladies when yo'u smooth 
your Tishun locks like that an' smile. 

Reddy. Run away, little boy. It's wicked to 
be envious as you are. You heard her say she 
loved red hair, and that's why — 

Tommy. You're all mixed up. She said she 
loved brown hair with red glints in it. 

Steve (musingly). Strong's hair is brown, 
isn't it ? 

Shorty (angrily). Strong's? Jini Strong's? 

Reddy. Hello, Shorty ! Come alive, have 
you? Glad to see you. Fine day! 



10 JOY OF THE L V. 

Tommy (striking an attitude). James Strong. 
The same. You have named him. Our honored 
and honorable foreman ! 

Shorty. Honored, yes — and not proved dis- 
honorable — yet. 

Rcddy. What do you mean, Shorty? 

Tommy. Aw, shut up, Shorty. Forget your 
grouch ! There's not a decenter, squarer, more 
upright fellow on the range than Jim Strong, and 
you know it. 

Shorty. That's just exactly what I don't 
know. 

Rcddy (walks up to Shorty). Look here, 
Shorty. If you've anything to say about Jim 
Strong, spit it out like a man or else shut up. 
You are always sneering about Jim, but nobody 
has ever heard what you got agin him. Spit it 
out, I tell you. 

Shorty. I will when I get good and r«eady. 
I know more about him than any one of you. 
An' I know what he's doin' right now that would 
finish him up in an hour if I told it. 

(Enter John Branscombe U. C, and Joy and 
Miss Woodbe U. L.) 

John (embraces Joy warmly). Welcome home, 
little sister. We have been pretty lonesome with- 
out you. Pretty lonesome. (Shakes hands with 
Miss Woodbe, kissing her lightly on the cheek.) 
Welcome to you, too, Cousin Alta. I am very 
glad to have you here with Joy. Very glad. 

(W'hile the following is going on, Joy greets 
Steve and Tommy warmly, and is introduced to 



JOY OF THE L V. 11 

Hank, Thompson and Schwartz, with whom she 
shakes hands.) 

Miss JVoodbc. Oh, Cousin John! You 
mustn't. You really mustn't. I'm not used to 
that, you know (bridling and twittering). It is 
really embarrassing. Just see how you have 
made me blush. (Both down stage to C., Shorty 
following.) Joy and I had a perfectly glorious 
drive. That young Mr. Stout — 

Joy (over her shoulder). Mr. Strong, Alta. 
(Down stage toward L.) 

Miss JVoodbe. Oh, yes, to be sure I meant 
Mr. Strong, of course. (Sees Shorty). Oh, 
how do you do, Air. Shorty? How do you do?. 
(Shakes hands.) As I was saying, John, Mr. 
Strong proved so entertaining. He is well to 
do, too, isn't he? He knows a great deal about 
the range country, and as I say, he has a fine 
start in life for so young a man. I asked him 
about it — how people got a start like that out 
here, and he said — (laughs affectedly) — dear me, 
he is so amusing and entertaining — he said many 
of them got their start by having a good pony 
and a long rope. Wasn't that clever of him ? 

Shorty. It is, mighty clever of him, so long 
as he doesn't get caught using them (moves up 
stage to R.). 

Miss JVoodbe (eyes following Shorty). I do 
not think he quite rightly grasped my meaning 
(talks to Branscombe). 

Reddy (moves down stage to L., keeping care- 
fully behind the others, out of sight of Miss 



12 JOY OF THE L V. 

Woodbe). Miss Joy, you haven't said how 
d'y'do? to me, yet. I'm feehn' awful lonesome. 
If you don't say something to me pretty soon, 
I'm afraid I'll cry. I'm feelin' mighty choked 
up right now, 

Joy. Why, you poor boy ! (gives him both 
her hands). How could I have overlooked you 
of all others? It seems so good to see you again, 
Reddy. Come on over here, now, and tell me 
every single thing you know about the L V. 
What's happened? Who is where? And when 
does the round-up begin, and where does it start ? 
(Leads Reddy down stage to L. C.) 

Rcddy. First, the round-up begins tomorrow, 
on Owl Creek. Plenty near enough for you to 
ride over. There are a good many new men. 
Jack, Bob, Barker, Nolan and about a half dozen 
others of the old lot went down to Argentine. 
I didn't. Knew you'd be coming back here this 
year, ag'in, and wild horses couldn't have dragged 
me away (fervently). (Joy laughs enjoyingly.) 
No, but seriously, Miss Joy, we have been having 
some little trouble. Cattle rustlers have been at 
work around here. The queer part of it is, the 
L V has been almost the only loser. Guess 
we've lost as many as thirty critters this last 
month. We're layin' for to catch them, and 
when we do you can believe things'll happen — 
fast! (Moves out from behind others. Miss 
Woodbe sees him.) It's this way — 

Miss IVoodhc. Dear me, Mr. Reddy. T didn't 
see you before. (Coquettishly offers both hands.) 



JOY OF THE L V. 13 

I do hope you will forgive me ! It was utterly 
unintentional, I assure you. Say that you for- 
give my seeming carelessness ! 

Reddy. Sure thing! Never noticed it. Fine 
day. (Tries to release her hands, in vain. As 
she talks he takes both in his left while he mops 
face with bandanna in right, tries to drop them, 
changes hands, and mops face with left, tucking 
handkerchief under arm while making the trans- 
fer.) 

Miss JVoodbe. How dear and kind of you. 
And how sweet it is to see you again, and be 
welcomed thus warmly by old and dear, dear 
friends. You have not changed a particle. 
Just the same. Just the same, even to that 
little curl in your hair. (Boys back of her 
double up with silent laughter. Signal to 
Reddy ; pantomime their hopelessness of his 
state. He tries once more to release her 
hands, fails, transfers them a time or two, and 
mops his face again.) Oh, really, though, you 
shouldn't forget and hold my. hands this way 
right before all these people. I really didn't 
notice. I'll have to run away. I feel so con- 
fused. (Exits, waving coyly at him.) 

Reddy (sinking limply to a box near by). 
Heavings, Maude ! That's worse than a week 
straight, in the saddle ! 

Joy. Reddy, you are a perfect dear. And I 
like 3^our kindhearted self more than I can say. 

Branscomhe. I say, one of you boys bring in 
the ladies' trunks, will you ? Eh ! will you ? 
(Shorty exits R. All others rush off to L., re- 



14 JOY OF THE L V. 

turning with two trunks on shoulders of two of 
them, others all holding them in place and help- 
ing. F.xit to U. L., led by Branscombe. Joy 
moves up stage to C, and as she is about to exit, 
enter Strong down R.) 

Strong. Joy! 

Joy (moves D. C). Yes? 

Strong. Sweetheart, won't you answer my 
question now? 

Joy. Question ? 

Strong. Please, Joy, be kind. Answer me, do. 

Joy. What can you mean? I am sure you 
asked me no question. You did make state- 
ments — cold, plain statements. 

Strong. Please, Joy. 

(Shorty is seen to enter U. R. Listening, 
shows savage anger.) 

Joy. You said that your circumstances <were 
materially improved since last year. That wasn't 
a question. (Walks pettishly D. R.) 

Strong. I said that I had bought a ranch of 
my own, and asked — 

Joy. Oh, yes. The A K, wasn't it? (Returns 
to C") 

Strong. And that at the rate I was being en- 
abled to stock it, it would be only a few months 
until I could put it into the hands of a capable 
manager, such as Reddy, for instance, and we 
could go to Europe on our — 

Joy (interrupting, hastily). Oh, yes, I re- 
member distinctly. And I asked if you had dis- 
covered a gold mine, and you laughed and said 
it was an iron mine. 



JOY OF THE L V. 15 

Strong. So it was. An iron mine in Penn- 
sylvania. 

Shorty (aside). Before I get through with 
you, Mr. Foreman, your iron mine will be located 
nearer than Pennsylvania. 

Joy (shrugging, goes U. C). Let's talk of 
something light. Iron is such a deadly heavy 
subject. 

Strong. Very well. We will talk of yoii. 
You are the light of my life — light of my eyes — 
light of my heart — light — 

Joy. Oh, Jim (laughing unwillingly), do be 
sensible. 

Strong {str\o\\s\y). With all my heart. Joy, 
dearest, will you be my vvife? 

Joy (pretending amazement). Why, Jimmie ! 
Was that w^hat you meant all the time? Yes 
(softly), I will. 

Strong (embracing her). You darling fraud! 

(Shorty threatens Strong and exits, still un- 
seen, U. C.) 

(Enter Reddy, R. C.) 

Reddy. Sorry to interrupt you. Strong, but 
the boss wants you right away. 

Strong. All right, Reddy. Be there in a 
minute. 

(Reddy starts to cross to L., sees Miss Woodbe 
who appears there a moment, and he beats a 
hasty retreat.) 

Strong. Joy, dearest, tell me when you will — 

Joy. Dear me, Jimmie ! What a progressive 
voung man you are ! 

(Enter Wing, U. C) 



16 JOY OF THE L V. 

JJ'iiig. How do, Missee Blanscombe? Me 
glad see you 'g'in. 

Joy. Oh, how do you do, Wing? (Shakes 
hands.) 

Wing. You come to cook house? ^vle got 
fine laspbclly pie for you. 

Joy. Indeed I shall. That was awfully good 
of you. Wing, to remember how I love raspberry 
pie. I'll be there in one minute. 

Wing. You no let um get cold, Missee Blans- 
combe ? 

Joy. Not for the world. Wing. 

(Exit Wing, U. C.) 

Strong. If these meddlesome people would 
stay away long enough perhaps you'd kiss me 
again. (She does so.) Now tell me that you 
will ride to the round-up with me tomorrow. 

Joy. Yes, yes. Of course! Do hurry, 
Jimmie. John will be furious if you keep him 
waiting. 

Strong. I suppose so. Well, good-bye for 
the moment. 

Joy. Good-bye. 

(Exit Jim, D. R.) 

(Enter Shorty, U. C, meeting Joy at C, steps 
in front of her as she goes toward R. C.) 

Joy. What is it, Shorty? 

Shorty (defiantly). I want to know if I kin 
ride to the round-up with you tomorrow ? 

Joy. Nonsense, Shorty ! Of what are you 
thinking? You know as well as I do (severely) 
that it never has been the habit of the range to 
presume upon my friendliness. 



JOY OF THE L V. 17 

Shorty. We're changin' our habits out here, 
I guess. I ain't the first one to ask you, I bet. 

Joy. We will not discuss the subject. 

Shorty. Oh, yes, we will. Kin I ride with 
you? 

Joy. No ! 

Shorty (doggedly). Who you ridin' with? 

Joy (crisply). We all ride together as usual, 
I suppose. 
• Shorty. You ridin' with Jim Strong? 

Joy (haughtily). If I choose. 

Shorty. Jim's not much more than a puncher 
hisself, and not an allfired good one at that. 

Joy. Mr. Strong is a gentleman, whatever 
your opinion of his abilities on the range. We 
will not discuss him. 

Shorty. You sha'n't go with him, I tell you ! 

Joy. Shorty, you forget yourself ! Come, be 
sensible. We have been good friends for so 
many years, do not make further friendship im- 
possible. 

Shorty. I don't want to be friends with you. 
You know what I think about you — what I have 
always thought about you. 

Joy. You are not like yourself. I can not 
understand — 

Shorty. Yes, you do. You know T love you^ 
and have ever since you been comin' here sum- 
mers — ever since you was a little, short-skirted, 
slim thing with long braids and freckles. (Joy 
explores bridge of nose with forefinger, for 
freckles.) I loved you then an' I love you now, 
an' that cursed sneakin' foreman aint comin' in 



18 JOY OF THE L V. 

here on my range with his fine education an' 
pretty manners an' take you from me, neither. 
You liked me in them days an' you'd more than 
Hke me now if it wa'n'a for him. I'd Hke to 
spoil — 

Joy. Stop ! Raving like a madman will do 
you no good. Try to realize this one fact. If 
you were the only man I knew on earth I would 
rather die than marry you. Can't you see that? 
Can you not understand that while I have always 
liked and trusted you as a friend that the thought 
of you as a lover makes me fairly shiver ? 

Shorty. Mebbe you feel that way now, but 
when you see your handsome beau hangin' to a 
Cottonwood tree, shot full of holes because he's 
been stealin' other people's stock, mebbe then 
you'll change your mind. 

Joy. What do you mean? 

Shorty. I mean that Jim Strong's nothin' but 
a blank rustler, an' I can prove it. And what's 
more, I will. You think you're goin' to marry 
him some day, but you aint, I tell you. You're 
goin' to marry mc ! Yes, if I. have to kill that 
cattle-thievin' foreman with my own hands, an' 
carry you off across my saddle. 

Joy. Go ! Go at once ! And do not ever dare 
to speak to me again. Go, I say ! 

Shorty. I'll go, all right. But remember — 
"Every dog has his day" — today's Jim Strong's. 
But mine's comin' and comin' soon! (Exit 
Shorty, D. R.) 

Joy. The horrible creature. He is a savage 
— enough of a savage to do as he says. What 



JOY OF THE L V. 19 

shall I do? (Weeps.) What shall I do? Jim 
is out on the range every day and that murderous 
creature could shoot him almost any time and 
make it appear an accident. I can't tell John, 
he would only laugh at me, and tell me it isn't 
worth a second thought. Oh, dear, if I only 
had some one to help me ! 

(Enter Wing U. C.) 

Wing. Whassa mattah, Mi<5see Blanscombe? 
You mad? You solly? Somebody be closs to 
you? You tellee ol' Wing. Me smash um face. 
Me kick um to Jellico ! 

Joy. No, no, Wing. I'm just silly, that's all. 
And a little anxious. 

Wing. Shorty makee you solly? (Joy nods.) 
See, Missee, you lookee out for him. He bad 
man. He got gun. He shoot. Biff! bing! 
quickee likee dat. He got big boot, too. (Rubs 
himself reminiscently.) Ne' min'. You blacee 
up, Missee Blanscombe. I bet I bakee you 
nothla laspbelly pie, then you feel bettah. 

Joy (laughing). Good old Wing. Yes, do 
bake one, and I am sure I shall feel better. 
(Wing crosses to U. C.) And, by the way. 
Wing, I think I shall have you help me keep 
an eye on Shorty. He is a bad man, and I do 
not want any trouble here among the boys on 
my account. 

Wing. All light ! You no go way not tell 
ol' Wing? 

Joy. Most certainly not. Wing. 

Wing. You do, you pie gettee all col'. Um 
be no good allee samee. (Exit Joy U. L.) 



20 JOY OF THE L V. 

JJlug. Dat lillec gal solly 'bout somepin. 
Me make two pics. (Exit U. R.) 

(Strong enters, buckling holster. Shorty 
creeps stealthily across from Up. L. to Up. C. 
Turning, he draws "gun" from holster and delib- 
erately aims at Strong. Wing appears for a 
moment at Up. R. Shorty turns gun on him, 
and he flings up hands and flees.) 

Strong (without turning around). Put up 
your shooting irons, Shorty, and take a bit of 
advice from me. If you want to do murder 
choose a less frequented spot. I'd hate to die 
and carry a photograph in my eye in which you 
were hanging to the beam of your own cabin. 

Shorty. Dunno but your advice is good. 
(Advances close to Strong.) There's harder 
ways for a cattle thief to die than by shooting, 
after all, an' I want to give you all there is comin' 
to you, you sneakin' Rustler ! 

Strong. Gently, Shorty, gently. You know 
perfectly well that there is only one man in the 
L V outfit that that name fits, and it isn't I. 
Come to think of it, you are the only one beside 
myself that knows who it is. 

Shorty. You mean mef I'll not forget that, 
Mr. Strong. And let me tell you (savagely), 
me an' this (pats gun) will get you yet ! (Crosses 
to Down L.) 

Strong. And just one word more. Keep 
your contemptible self away from the ladies on 
this ranch or I'll shoot you so full of holes that 
there'll be nothing left to bury ! 



JOY OF THE L V. 21 

(Shorty pulls gun. Strong stands looking 
steadfastly at him. He lowers it.) 

Curtain. 

Act II — Scene I. 
Time. — A week later. 
Place. — A cottonwood grove. 

Scenery. — A large rock {made from brown 
Holland shading) occupies a prominent place to 
the left of the center of stage. Against this 
leans Shorty, talking to Steve. As the curtain 
rises Shorty zurites laboriously with a stubby 
pencil on a scrap of paper. 

Shorty. There, now ! How's that? (Busi- 
ness.) I bet that will set the boss to thinkin'. 

Steve. Read her out loud, Shorty, and see 
how she sounds. 

Shorty (reads). Mr. Branscombe : You 
better keep an eye on your foreman. All folks 
ain't as honest as they look. Mebbe he knows 
somethin' about them calves you're lookin' for. 

A Friend. 

Steve. That'll fetch him. But how will you 
get it to him without him suspicioning who sent 
it? 

Shorty. I got that all fixed. Here's an en- 
velope that he got a letter in last week. It come 
ungummed, so it aint tore open. The postmark's 
blurred, and the stamp cancelled. It is just ready 
to slip the letter in. Looks like as though it was 
meant for just this. (Puts letter in and seals it.) 



22 JOY OF THE L V. 

Steve. But it won't go through the post office 
that-a-way. 

SJwrty. Not much, it won't. You are goin' 
to take it and drop it near the bunkhouse after 
Reddy passes there. Somebody will pick it up 
an' take it to the boss. Reddy goes for the mail 
today and the boss will think he dropped it. 

Stez'e. But that's a mighty slow way of get- 
ting even with Strong. That's just worryin' at 
him. 

Shorty. . Don't you fret, Steve. I'll fix that 
up. I aint forgettin' that you ought to of been 
foreman of this outfit 'stead of Jim Strong. 
Listen. This is just a starter to get the boss to 
thinkin' along the right lines. You remember 
that old spotted cow with the twin calves that 
nearly finished Tommy on the round-up yester- 
day? 

Steve. I wouldn't be like to forget that old 
co-boss. Threw my rope on her and she started 
plungin' for me all bellow and horns. Reddy 
roped her too, or she'd a sure got me. He saw 
her, plain enough, and so did half a dozen of the 
other boys. She was sure one fierce one. Don't 
think any of us will be liable to forget her very 
soon, or her wabbly calves, either. 

Shorty. Neither do I. And there's my plan. 
She's got the L V brand on her as plain as paint. 
The calves ain't branded — yet. The two of us 
can plan some way to get sent in together when 
they throw that first bunch back on the home 
range, and the rest will be easy. For that old 
cow and her two calves are in it. We'll stop off 



JOY OF THE L V. 23 

at the coulee by the lower bunch of cottonwoods. 
I've got a set of branding irons cached there for 
use in emergencies. They are the A K brand. 
A)id Strong bought out the A K a month ago. 
He's interfered with my business ever since I 
first knew him. It's only fair to take turn about. 
We'll put that brand on the two little critters an' 
turn 'em loose. The first puncher that sees the 
A K brand on 'em will know right then who it is 
that's stealin' the L V calves. Right there is 
where Jim Strong begins to get his. Rustlin' is 
a mighty unpopular trade on this range, and it's 
liable to go hard with the Rustler. 

Steve. Don't you reckon that the boss will 
drop on to the fact that somebody is double- 
crossing Strong? You know the boss is pretty 
smart, for all he's so peppery. 

Shorty. I thought of that. I've fixed it up, 
though. Here are some drawin's that will do 
the work. See, it's dead easy. I've taken the 
L V brand and changed it to an A K, on this 
paper. 

Steve. I don't quite savvy. 

Shorty (testily). Why, look here. (Picks 
up a stone, tailor's chalk, and marks distinctly 
on the rock against which he leans.) Here's the 
L V brand (business), and these dotted lines 
turn it into an A K (business). It makes a big- 
ger brand, but the L V is unusually small. 

Steve (chuckling). Good work. Shorty, old 
boy! 

Shorty. See how it is done, don't you? 
(Steve nods assent.) 



24 JOY OF THE L V. 



h.y 



' V V 

(The L V brand, with dotted lines showing how 
it can be changed to A K.) 

Shorty. Now these belong in the hands of 
the Boss. We can't give 'em to him, so they got 
to be found — found by some of Jim Strong's 
friends. See? (Steve nods.) I'll stick these 
in that book of Jim's that he left at the bunk 
house last night. They'll match, for I took these 
leaves out of it this morning. I'll leave 'em lyin' 
around. They'll reach the Boss, alright, alright. 
These will set him to thinkin'. This drawin' 
with the letter and the branded calves, and that 
A K branding iron left lyin' careless-like around 
in the coulee ought pretty near do the work. 

Steve. You sure are some handy man with 
a pencil, Shorty. If I was the Boss I'd keep my 
eagle eye on you. 

Shorty (jumps to his feet and pulls "gun"). 
What? ' 

Steve. Aw, sit down, Shorty. I was only 
joshin'. 

Shorty (slips gun into holster). Well, mebby. 
But I'd advise you to have that sense of humor 
of yours amputated. It's likely to get you into 
trouble. Well, come on. We better be moseyin' 
along. You go by way of Scrub Oaks, an' I'll 



JOY OF THE L V. 25 

ride across through Antelope Creek. Best not 
be seen together too often nowadays. (Exit 
Shorty R. C). 

Steve (preparing to leave, and addressing 
Shorty's vanished figure). It's all right for you 
to get huffy when I suggest you are a handy man 
at changin' brands. You don't know that / know 
that you have learned to change the L V to a 
double triangle, too, and that the A K ain't the 
only branding iron you're usin' to blot brands 
with. One simple little line from top to point of 
L, an' another little line across the top of the V, 
an' there you have it neat as can be. That's 
what you're doin' for yourself, Mr. Shorty. An' 
I'll keep still just now. I ain't lookin' for trou- 
ble. I'll keep on playin' that I'm mad because 
Strong got the foreman's job. But when this 
has all blown over, I propose to declare in on the 
double triangle brand of cattle, and we'll go 
halves, though you don't know, yet, that you've 
got a partner in prospect. You'll have to divvy. 
I've got the goods on you. You think I'm helpin' 
because I hate Strong. But all the time it's for 
business reasons. (Holds up imaginary glass.) 
Here's to a profitable partnership in the Double 
Triangle outfit. 

Act II — Scene II. 

Time. — The next morning. 

Place. — Before the L V bunkhouse. 

(Enter Branscombe D. R., and Joy and Strong 
L. C, hand in hand.) 



2(y JOY OF THE L V. 

Joy and Strong. Brother John ! 

Brans. What's this? What's this? 

Strong. I've come to ask you for the dearest 
girl in the world. 

Brans. Tut, tut. What are you thinking of? 
She's only a child. 

Joy. I am twenty, John. 

Brans. Twenty? Impossible! Twenty? 
Why, it isn't two years ago you were romping 
around here in short skirts and pigtail braids. 
Twenty? Bless me. How time flies I But here, 
Strong. You'll have to wait till I look you up. 
I know only good of you, but when it comes to 
giving you this little girl I'll have to be doi|bly 
sure you are worthy. 

Strong. You are right. And thank you, 
Branscombe. I'll take good care of her, I swear. 

Brans. Of course you will. Of course. But 
wait. Remember I have promised nothing 
definite. Not yet. Nothing definite. 

Strong. No, but you will, for the record's 
clean, Branscombe. (Brans, turns to L. up 
stage. ) 

Joy. Oh, John, I forgot. Here is a letter I 
found just now. Reddy must have dropped it 
when he gave me mine. 

Brans. Run along, you two. I'll see both of 
you at supper. (Joy embraces Branscombe. 
Exit both.) 

Brans, (reads letter aloud. Shows irritation). 
Anonymous ! Not worth a moment's attention. 
(Starts to destroy it, but finally puts it in his 



JOY OF THE L V. 27 

pocket. Tommy, studying papers m hand, is 
seen crossing from R. C. to up C.) Hey, you, 
Tommy ! 

Tommy. Hullo, Mr. Branscombe. I was 
just looking for you. I got something I think 
you'd ought to see. 

Brans. What is it? 

Tommy. Looks to me as though somebody 
with a handy branding iron and a lot of nerve 
was trying to put something over on the L V. 
Neat work, though! (Hands paper to Brans- 
combe.) 

Brans. Blotted the L V brand! Where did 
you get this ? 

Tommy. Bunkhouse. In a book. 

Brans. Bring the book here, will you? (Tommy 
does so.) Why, what's this? How did Jim 
Strong's book get into the bunkhouse? He 
doesn't stay there. 

Tommy. Didn't know it was Jim's. He must 
have brought it last night when we were talking 
over the new corral plans. 

Brans. I see. (Compares paper in book with 
that of drawings.) Who owns the A K outfit? 

Tommy. Why, you know. The International 
Company. Or, no, Strong bought it a couple of 
months ago. 

Brans. Um, hum ! And the L V brand is 
changed to an A K. I begin to see. I begin to 
see. 

Tommy. Sufferin' Mulhooley's black cats ! 
You don't think for a minute that Jim Strong 



28 JOY OF THE L V. 

would do a low down thing like that? Why, Mr. 
Branscombe, that's rustling! Why, Mr. Brans- 
combe, Jim never drawed that any more than I 
did. He is as square as they make 'em. He 
couldn't. He wouldn't. He — why — Jim is — 
why — well, why in blazes don't you say some- 
thing? 

Brans. Simply because there is nothing to be 
said — at present. 

Tommy. But you don't get mc ! I tell you. 
Boss, Jim couldn't do a thing like that. He's 
clean. He's square (half crying with helpless 
rage). Some low down sneak has done tlj^is 
dirty work to get Strong in bad, but if I ever get 
my mitts on the measley cur there won't be a 
grease spot left of him ! 

Brans. All right, Tommy. Of course Jim's 
always been square. Don't say anything to any 
of the boys. 

Tommy (turning to Up. R.). I won't. Shorty 
and two or three others saw it, too, though. 

Brans. Tell Strong I want to see him, 
Tommy. 

Tommy. Yes, sir. (Exit. Enter Strong Up. 
R.). 

Strong. You wanted me, Mr. Branscombe? 

Brans. Yes. You — ah — hum — you spoke to 
me about my — about Joy not long ago. 

Strong (eagerly). Yes. 

Brans. Well, I've changed my mind. I will 
not see both of you at supper tonight. In fact, 
I won't see you at all. I've changed my mind. 
I refuse my consent. And if you have anything 



JOY OF THE L V. 29 

to say to any of the Branscombe family you will 
please say it to me, hereafter. Understand? 

Strong. You mean? 

^ran.s'. (crisply). Exactly what I say. That's 
all. (Nods dismissal. Enter Reddy, L. C, and 
exit Strong, R. Up.) 

Reddy. Here's the mail, Mr. Branscombe. 
It's some extensive this time sure. There's an 
express package in there as big as a house. It's 
heavy, too. Probably samples from Strong's 
iron mine. 

Brans. All right, Reddy. (Sorts letters. Reads 
label on package.) Mr. George Hedrick. That's 
Shorty's name on mail days and pay days, isn't 
it? 

Reddy. Yep. But I never knew him to get 
even so much as a paper before. 

Brans. Here, these belong to the boys. Put 
them in the bunkhouse, Reddy. (Exit Reddy, 
U. C, and Branscombe briskly, L. C. Enter 
Shorty, carrying package, and followed by Steve. 
Shorty opens package and takes out a half dozen 
flasks of liquor. Inspects each admiringly.) 

Shorty. It costs like radium, but it'll do the 
work, and the Range is well rid of our han'some 
Foreman. A little whiskey an' a little knowledge 
is a dangerous thing — for the Innocent By- 
stander. Strong is the Innocent Bystander this 
time. These new men will go at the job like 
kids at a pan of popcorn balls. They've been on 
the Rano^e long enough to know that a Rustler 
is a rattlesnake. Strong rides alone over to the 
B Z B today, and while the boys are givin' him 



30 JOY OF THE L V. 

what's comin' to him, you an' nie will be busy 
puttin' a nice fresh A K on them twin calves. 
We'll have to kill the old cow, I reckon, to keep 
the little fellers near enough to the ranch to be 
easily found. (To cowboys outside.) Hey, 
boys, come in and have somethin' on me. It's 
my birthday. (Enter Schwartz, Thompson and 
Hank, eagerly.) 

Steve (uneasily). Might not Miss Brans- 
combe come along here? 

Shorty. Nope. Saw her and the flirty lady 
ride off with the Boss five minutes ago. (Ail 
drink freely from proffered flasks.) 

Steve. Anybody seen Strong lately? 

Shorty. Oh, Jim's on his lonesome way to 
the B Z B. If I had as much on my conscience 
as Strong has I'd be afraid to ride past that 
upper bunch of cottonwoods. There's a dozen 
strong tempting branches stretchin' themselves 
out and cryin' for a rope an' a Rustler. 

Schwartz. Why? W'hat is the matter mit 
Mr. Strong? 

Steve. Haven't you heard? Where you been 
all this time? Why, the Boss got a letter from 
some old friend tellin' him he had seen Strong 
putting a nice fresh A K over a perfectly good 
L V brand, and not leavin' a blurred line. The 
work was so fine he thought it ought to be 
brought to his Boss's notice. Peppery John 
took it hard. 

Schwart-.. Ha! A Rustler. I thought there 
was something about him 



JOY OF THE L V. 31 

Shorty. Just that. And we all know that a 
Rustler is a pizen snake, and only fit to be killed. 

Steve. Or drove out of the country. 

Shorty. Why, if he keeps it up, an' they don't 
get proof, they're likely to accuse you or me of 
doin' it. Nobody's safe. He gets us up at three 
o'clock in the mornin' and drives us like slaves 
all day till dark, and then has us strung up for 
Rustlin' when he stole the calves hisself. 

Steve. A nice little necktie party to scare him 
out of the country would be about the thing for 
him. 

Schwart:^ and Hank. You bet it would ! 

Thompson (swinging bottle). Let's give him 
one! 

All. All right. We will. He will make nig- 
ger slaves of us, will he? He will accuse us of 
Rustling, will he? etc., etc. 

Shorty. It's a good idea. Here, you, Thomp- 
son, you shall be captain, because you suggested 
it. Ain't that right, boys? To make the fellow 
that was smart enough to think of it, the captain? 

All. Yes! Sure! Yes! 

Shorty. See, now. We'll fix it this way. 
Thompson, Schwartz and Hank go round by 
Scrub Oaks and come in from the north, and 
Steve, here, and I will come in from the south. 
We'll catch him at the upper cottonwood grove. 
He's sure to stop there for water. 

Thompson. That's the stuff. We'll rope him 
before he knows it. 



32 JOY OF THE L V. 

Steve. You better, for he's handy with a gun. 

Sclnvartz. Don't you fellows be late or you'll 
miss the gay time. 

Shorty. Don't you worry. We want to see 
Jim Strong get his just as much as you do. He'd 
ought to reach the cottonwoods by (squints at 
the sun) — by ten o'clock. Here is a last good 
luck. (All drink.) Take the rest of it along 
with you, boys. I'll not celebrate like this again 
very soon. Ain't goin' to have any more birth- 
days. (Winks at Steve.) 

All. Thanks, Shorty. (Wing appears from 
back of tree, U. R., and dodges back again, un- 
seen by cowboys.) 

Hank. You bet we will ! Glad you had this 
one. 

^// (rise). Here we go. Whoop-ee-e ! We'll 
put Foreman Strong where he won't rustle any 
more L V stuff. (All, except Shorty, exit, D. 
R.). 

Shorty. And here's to the cottonwoods, ten 
o'clock, and a settlement of old scores. (Drinks. 
Exit, R. C. Enter Joy, in riding costume, U. L., 
crosses to U. R. and calls.) 

Joy. Wing! Oh, Wing! (Enter Wing, D. 
L. ■ Joy meets him at D. C.) 

IVing. Me lookee for you evelywhcre, Missee 
Blanscombe. 

Joy. I had started away with my brother, 
when I remembered about supper. I want you 
to get up the very nicest little supper that you 
know how to get for me this evening. Use all 
the pretty china and glass. I expect to be spe- 



JOY OF THE L V. 33 

cially happy tonight, and I want things to be 
festive. 

Wing. You no time be festive. Mist' Stlong, 
he go to cottonwoods on cleek. Shorty, he give 
boys dhnk (illustrates) and tell um Mist' Stlong 
he lustier. They kill um. You go quick. Bling 
Mist' Blanscombe. He fix um. Shorty, he no 
good. He bad man. He no nice (rubs himself ). 
Blettah go quick. Ten o'clock, Shorty say. They 
lope him and shoot! 

Joy. Shoot Mr. Strong for a rustler? Quick, 
Wing. Who told you? 

IVtJig. Me hear. All new men and Steve 
and Shorty. 

Joy (preparing to leave). Which grove. 
Wing? You know there are two. 

Wing. Me no know. No hear um say. First 
tly lower. It closer. 

Joy. Oh, Wing, I don't know what to do. 
How can I help most surely? 

Wing. Go quick. You cly along load if you 
like. I go take out laspbelly pie. Hot, nice pie. 
Hully up. (Exit Joy, D. R.) 

Wing. I bet that fix Mist' Shorty plenty 
some. (Rubs injured region.) 

Act hi — Scene I. 

Time. — 9 :50 a. m., same day as Act 2, Scene 2. 

Place. — Same as Scene 1, Act 2. 

Strong (off stage). There you are, old fel- 
low (slaps horse). Go get yourself a drink of 



34 JOY OF THE L V. 

water. (Tlie "duff, duff", duff," of hoofs on sod 
is heard. Enter Strong, U. R.). 

Strong (removes hat, mops face, throws hat 
and quirt aside, and himself full length in the 
shade). Whew! It is hot! The heat waves 
shiver up from the ground like fire. There isn't 
a breath of air stirring. (Looks to L. Sits up 
and looks intently.) What in smoke do those 
fellows mean by riding at such a pace on such a 
day? They'll kill their horses. There surely 
must be something wrong to make them ride like 
that. (Rising) Hey, you, there! Pull up. Get 
off those horses, you idiots, and cool them be- 
fore you let them drink. What's up? What do 
you want? (Enter Thompson, Hank and 
Schwartz.) 

Thompson. We want you. 

Strong. W^ell, you have me. (Rope swirls 
over his head and tightens about his arms.) 

Hank. You bet we have, and we're goin' to 
keep — keep you till — till — the cows come home. 

Strong (angrily). Loose that rope! What 
do you mean by this performance? What does 
this mean, I say? 

Hank. 'S a necktie party, Mr. Strong. 'S a 
nice li'l su'prise party on you. You rustled too 
many — too many nice li'l bossy calves, an' we're 
goin' to hang you up to a tree — nice cott'nwood 
tree. 

Strong. You're drunk. Where did you get 
whiskey this far from town? 

Hank. Ain't drunk. Drunk yerself. It's 
Shorty's birthday. He got li'l birthday present. 



JOY OF THE L V. 35 

Divided with ns. Shorty's gen'rous. Shorty's 
all right. 

Thompson. Here, now, boys, I'm your cap- 
t'n, remember. Shorty said so. Here's 'nother 
rope. Put it round his neck, Schwartz. Neck- 
tie. See? (Schwartz obeys. It is sHpped 
through a ring at the back of Strong's neck, 
which in turn has been previously fastened to a 
kind of harness under his clothing, so that he 
can be lifted from his feet, without pain. If 
Schwartz stands in front of Strong when ad- 
justing it, he can throw a second twist of the 
first rope around his neck, and it will look to be 
the one he put there at the moment.) 

Strong. Listen to me, boys. What's up? 

Hank. Nothin' — yet. You will be in a min- 
ute — up a tree. (Laughter.) 

Strong. What does this mean? I want the 
truth, now. 

Thompson. It means that you are a dirty 
rustler and we are going to hang you. 

Strong. ''Rustler" is an ugly word in the cow 
country. 

Thompson. You bet it is. But you are it, 
all right. Shorty knows what he's talking about 
and don't you forget it. 

Strong. You are dead wrong, boys. I am no 
more a rustler than Hank, here, or you, 
Schwartz. You're drunk. Wait till you sober 
up, and, if you can prove it, you may hang me 
if you want to do so. 

Schzvart:^. Nefer put off till tomorrow what 
you kin do this day. Come along. (Jerks rope. 



36 JOY OF THE L V. 

Strong fights vigorously to free his arms. 
Thompson throws a third rope, and each man 
draws a gun.) 

Thompson. There's a good tree yonder. 
(Strong is drawn under it, a rope thrown over 
a "Hmb," and Schwartz draws Strong up to 
his tiptoes, then lets him down.) 

Thompson (sneeringly). Anything to say? 
Any little last message? 

Strong. Nothing, boys, except to repeat that 
you are dead wrong. I never killed a cow, rus- 
tled a calf or blotted a brand in my life. 

Hank (sweeping an unsteady gun about the 
circle to attract strict attention). Now, ain't he 
a nice li'l Willie-boy? 

Thompson (to Strong). Then where did all 
that young stock on the A K come from? 

Strong. I bought it with money left to me by 
an uncle, who died three months ago. I was the 
last of his family, and he left me a paying inter- 
est in some iron mines. Give this up, boys. Cut 
it out. You're wrong, I tell you. I szvear it! 

Hank. Naughty, naughty! Say, Strong — 
that iron mine — was it a branding-iron mine? 
(Laughter.) 

Schzvartz. Come, it iss hot. Let us make a 
finish. Shorty iss late. Let us not wait longer. 

Thompson. Ready, then. (All point guns at 
Strong, who stands steadfast. The gallop of a 
horse is heard.) Steady, now. When I say 
three. One — two — 



JOY OF THE L V. Z7 

Joy (entering breathlessly, U. R.). Stop! 
Stop, I say! Are you mad? What would you 
do? 

Strong. Joy ! Go back ! 

Joy (blazing with anger). Indeed I shall not! 
(To Cowboys.) Take off those ropes, instantly! 
Instantly, I say! (They do so.) Now tell me 
what this means. 

Strong. It was a mistake on their part. Miss 
Branscombe. Some one tried to make them be- 
lieve I had been rustling stock. They seem to 
have succeeded amazingly well. 

Hank. Shorty says — 

Strong. Shut up ! 

Joy.' Shorty? So this really is Shorty's 
work? Hark, you, brave vigilantes (scornfully). 
Right this minute under that lower clump of 
trees a mile from here, Shorty and one other 
man are branding calves. That vicious cow 
which so nearly killed Tommy the other day, is 
lying dead on the edge of the coulee, and one of 
her calves with a fresh A K brand on it is stand- 
ing beside her. If you get there in time you 
will see them brand the other. They had just 
thrown it as I crept away. 

Thompson. Shorty? Are you sure? 

Joy. Do you think for a moment I would ac- 
cuse a man of a crime like that if I were not 
sure? 

Hank (sobered). Shorty! Shorty! Do you 
s'pose (to Thompson and Schwartz) that he was 
trying to get us to do his dirty work for him? 
He said that whiskey was a birthday present. A 



38 JOY OF THE L V. 

birthday present ! Come on, l)oys, let's give him 
another one. 

Strong. Steady, boys, steady ! You have 
made one bad blunder already today. Da not 
make another. 

Thompson. You bet we w^on't. We've got 
this gentleman, Shorty, with the goods on him. 

Strong. Forget it, boys. 

TJwmpson. Can't. He mighty near made us 
string you up. Dunno how he come to fool us 
so. Glad we didn't go through with it. 01)liged 
to you, Miss Branscombe. Sorry, Strong. Didn't 
mean no harm. We'll eat dirt for a month. 
Strong. 

Strong. Never mind, Thompson. Bad advice 
and bad whiskey are the rottenest combination I 
know. You fellows had both. 

Thompson. Never more for your Uncle 
Thompson. Sorry, though, Jim. Do better 
next time. Shake? 

Strong. Sure! (Business.) 

Hank (shakes hands). Mighty sorry. Strong. 
Mighty sorry. 

Schzvartz. Sorry. Most sorry. (Shakes 
hands.) 

Thompson. Ready, boys? We'll put a run 
on Shorty that'll make him short of breath. 

Hank and Schwartz. Ready ! 

All Three. Whoo-ee-e ! (Rush off stage.) 

Strong. Joy, dearest, how did you come so 
exactly on time? And how dared you come at 
all ? They were utterly irresponsible, and might 
have harmed you for interfering. They were 



JOY OF THE L V. 39 

crazy drunk, though they are considerably so- 
bered now. How did you know ? 

Joy. Wing told me. He heard them. I had 
started away with John and Alta when I remem- 
bered that you were to have supper with us to- 
night. I rode back to tell Wing, and he told me 
of their plot. I lost time by going to the lower 
grove, but I saw Shorty there, so rode on here. 
He was fixing the evidence which would prove 
you guilty and clear him of suspicion, when they 
found you. (Shudders). Oh, if it hadn't been 
for that blessed Chinaman, I might never have 
known ! 

Strong (embracing and comforting Joy). 
Dearest, we shall have cause for thankfulness 
every day of our lives. 

(Enter Miss Woodbe U. R.) 

Miss IVoodhe (in riding costume, throwing 
arms about Joy). My dear! My dear! What 
an experience ! Wing told us when we rode 
back for you. And Schwartz,* whose horse had 
thrown him while they were chasing those hor- 
rible creatures, told us the rest. How brave you 
are! 

(Enter Tommy and Reddy, excitedly, U. L.) 

Miss Woodbe (rushing over to Reddy and 
throwing herself into his reluctant arms). Dear 
Mr. Reddy, protect me ! Protect me ! That 
terrible person is still at large. Say that you 
will protect me from him. I fear him so ! 

Reddy (looking helpless, and trying vainly to 
safely remove his support). Cheer up, lady. 
He aint so dangerous. (She clutches him, fran- 



40 JOY OF THE L V. 

tically. Determinedly he plants her squarely and 
firmly on her feet, and retreats.) Don't get ex- 
cited. (She moves pleadingly toward him. He 
backs off, mopping brow.) Quit it. I aint 
strong enough for such vi'lent exercise, lady. 
Honest. (Mops brow.) 

Branscombe (enters). You are safe, Joy? 
Sure you are not hurt? Not a little bit? Those 
drunken brutes might have torn you to bits for 
breaking in as you did. This heat added to bad 
whiskey makes demons out of harmless dum- 
mies. It is a mighty bad business. Strong, 
mighty bad. But it clears you. Clears you 
completely. Glad. Hope you will overlook 
what I said this morning. Disturbed. Much 
disturbed! (They shake hands.) 

(Enter Thompson and Hank, Schwartz limp- 
ing in a little later, followed by Wing, much ex- 
cited.) 

Thompson. They made a get-away. Couldn't 
catch 'em. They had their horses handy and ran 
for it. 

Hank. Too bad the Canadian border is so 
near. But there's one satisfaction, — we made 
'em go some. 

Wing. Oh, Missee Blanscombe, you fine li'l 
gal. Fine li'l gal. You smart. You blave. 
Me make fine flesh laspbelly pie for you. 

Joy. Wing, you blessed creature, how did 
you get here? (Shakes hands.) You helped 
me save the life of the man I love, and I shall 
thank you for it all the days of my life. How 
did you get here? 



JOY OF THE L V. 41 

Wing (rubbing himself painfully). Me lode 
mule. Hard work. Me glad that Shorty man 
gone to Clanada. He bad man. Big boots. 
(Rubs self.) 

(Miss Woodbe slips unnoticed to Reddy's 
side.) 

Branscombe. Boys, right here seems as good 
a time as any to announce the approaching mar- 
riage of my sister and your foreman, Mr. Strong. 
You came mighty near depriving me of a splen- 
did brother-in-law, today. 

(Boys look embarrassed, and shuffle about un- 
comfortably.) 

Miss Woodbe. This is so sudden. (Swoons 
into Reddy's reluctant arms. He holds her, 
helpless and embarrassed. Mops brow. Strong 
and Joy join hands.) 

Tommy. Three cheers, boys ! Three ! 

(Reddy abruptly releases Miss Woodbe, who 
recovers herself suddenly, and looks reproach- 
fully at him.) 

All (waving hats). For JOY OF THE L V. 
Whoo-ee-e ! Whoo-ee-e ! Whoo-ee-e. 

Curtain. 



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Famous Five-Cent Funny Farces 

AUNT JERUSHA AND UNCLE JOSH. By Effle Louise Koogle. 1 male, 2 
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AUNT LUCINDA STAYS. By Willis N. Bugbee. 2 males, 2 females. Two darky 
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"BEAT IT!" By Willis N. Bugbee. 3 males, 1 female. A scolding wife makes 
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208, 210, 212 Wright Avenue, LEBANON, OHIO 



